Is it possible to be jealous of my own shoes?

Blazer, ZZ Top Shirt, Ruffle Shorts, Orange Tods- Vintage, Necklaces- Self-made, Earrings- Casey-made, Spike Bracelet- F21, Other Bracelets- Vintage

So I feel kinda guilty about the ten (TEN!) photos, and will try to make this short. Bullet point time!

- I acknowledge that my roots are scary, but don't quite feel like remedying the situation yet. Oh well.

- Casey and I have been total vintage warriors recently (prompted by her trip to the Best Flea Market of All Time while in LA), which has led us down a rabbit hole of strange and wonderful crafting/up-cycling. Yesterday afternoon we stole one of Joey's old Baylor tees and went bonkers. There are studs, spikes, kitty cat patches, a (really good) marker drawing of a unicorn, and a super special, super eloquent message to The Land of Kenneth Starr. 

- How great is this location? Joey found it, but was super terrified that someone was gonna jump out of a train car and like, shiv me. Thankfully, no shiving (new word?) occurred. 

- I want to dye a a black leather vest like, a really pretty dark greenish seawater color. If this is possible, then shoot me an email, pretty please. Directions would be great!

- If you feel like learning about a COMPLETELY AMAZING historical figure who should be WAY more famous, google "Mildred Fish-Harnack". Her husband (Arvid Harnack) was equally amazing, but recently I've been focusing on the ladies. 

- Sometimes I have this little fantasy regarding my old high school (Highland Park). Here it is: the Freshman would be forced to gather in the auditorium, and I would lecture about a heroic, kickass WOMAN. The girls desperately need some empowerment, and (many of) the boys need to stop treating the girls like subhumans. I hear stories from my brothers that really just come down to utter sexism. Like, shocking sexism.

Sadly my little dream could never happen, because I screamed at the school principal the day before brother Ethan's graduation. That guy is a first class wiener. 

SO Much Neon.

Margaret: Dino Top- Wildfox, Cutoffs (self-destroyed)- Justice (yes, that store for little girls, I highly recommend it), Litas- Jeffrey Campbell. Casey: Tank Top- UO, Pink Shorts (self-destroyed)- J Crew, Litas- OH, PLEASE, YOU IDIOT, Tom Binns-esque Necklace- I Made It Cause I Am Awesome.

Shirt- Joey's 19th Birthday Commemorative T-Shirt that I cut up, Shorts- Siwy, Boots- Jeffrey Campbell, Tom Binns-esque Necklace- credited above, Hair- Courtesy of some random cans of that shit you buy on Halloween, Bralet- Justice

So I wasn't planning on writing anything, but there is just way too much in these photos that kinda needs explaining. I shall do so through a few handy bullet points. Cause I am lazy.

- The top set of photos is from a few days ago...Casey and I decided that it was absolutely imperative to do some "neon-themed twinsies photos". I love how insane all the jewelry/flair looks, especially the matching "Bestie" bracelets, which are definitely from Justice (which I learned is actually just Limited Too with a new ((and inferior)) name). The lime green cutoffs are also  Justice...since when does a girls' size 16 exist? I'm pretty sure you had to jump off the "this store blasts an ear-poundingly horrible bastardized up-tempo (!) version of Leonard Cohen's 'Hallelujah' performed by a band of little Biebers" wagon once you  passed size 12 when I was young. 

= The second set involves a tee shirt I feel needs a wee bit of explanation. Yes, I went to Baylor. Yes, I hated/hate that university. But the "PellaPalooza" graphic our friend Matt added to it for husband Joey's 19th birthday is hilarious, and I totally wrote "Suks!" (sadly, the misspelling was a particularly stupid oversight) on it with a Sharpie. Rebel, rebel. Seriously though, any institution that forces every single student to attend chapel once a week for two semesters, then invites the MOST OFFENSIVE HUMANS ON THE PLANET to give horrifying speeches like "I Am the President of the (deeply evil) Ex-Gay Movement, and Jesus Hates You Because You Are All Fags", deserves some major Sharpie-inflicted defacement. If Fashion Litter weren't a family blog (HAHA...I love when people are all "Be quiet! This is a FAMILY establishment!") then I'd have worn my other Baylor t-shirt...let's just say there's a pen floating around the Baylor campus who feels very dirty about what it was forced to write one drunken night about five years ago. 

- The hair, while fun and awesome, is just that lovely spray shit you buy on Halloween. 

Goodnight, and good luck.

Pretty Light, New Shirt, and Nonsense.

Top- Marc by Marc, Shorts- Levi Cutoffs, Belt- Vintage, Shoes- Sam Edelman, Bag- Wayuu Taya, Necklace- Hindu Prayer Pendant, Earrings- Free People, the usual jewelry

Due to some unbelievable magic pixie dust that jesus sprinkled on Joey's camera, we ended up with some really beautiful lens flares and rainbows and lighting. Which is cool, especially in the second photo since it looks like Zeus is throwing a spear at me from whatever cloud he currently hangs out at (god, I'm really mixing belief systems in this post, eh?). 

So I'm sort of sitting here in a wordless stupor at the moment, probably due to my somewhat iffy decision to accompany Joey on his nightly outing to THE WORKOUT FROM HELL. And of course I don't own running shoes, so I wore my moccasins, and of course I don't own running shorts, so I wore these shiny hot pink American Apparel bullshits. The instructor was kinda a jerk to me, but then I see things from his eyes and it's like "who the hell is this girl in the blindingly pink shorts and MOCCASINS waltzing in here, then complaining that MY form is incorrect?!" Because ya, I totally did complain that his form was wrong. I take rowing machines seriously! I mean, rowing is like this gorgeous ballet on water, and he had these people attacking the machines like some (god, why do I want to say "violent hand job" right here?) uhhh fuck it, I dunno. The point is, you try and take the grace out of my favorite sport, I'm gonna call you on it. Even if I'm the new girl dressed like a Native American child prostitute.

Looks like the particular stupor in which I sit isn't exactly quite as wordless as I claimed. Big, huge surprise right there. I have a sneaking suspicion that absolutely nothing I just wrote made any sense. This is why I don't work out, people! It saps the brain right out of me. Just slurps it all away to repair my nonexistent muscles. I mean, that's how my body works.  

Mein Gott, stopping NOW.

I Live Next Door To a Lunatic (EDIT! White paint mystery solved!)

Shirt- Vintage (sort of), Leather Shorts- 3.1 Phillip Lim, Chloe Doc Boot knockoffs- Jeffrey Campbell, Awesomely Tacky Necklace- Sam Moon, Silver Cuffs- Fallon

So the Chloe Doc knockoffs are just as amazing for stomping around as I expected. Yay. And how hilariously cool is the tacky prom necklace my mom bought? Oh, and no, the shirt is not vintage (uhhh Journey '05), but still one of my favorite NY finds. Joey has been giving me unrelenting shit for my "not vintage vintage shirt".

SO. These photos are mostly just random "wandering around post work" shots, except for the last one. I've gotz myself quite a story for you people. Notice the white spray paint square on our hallway floor? Some completely batshit crazy resident seemed to think that the hall is for craft projects. Let that sink in for a moment. We now have a giant white square outside our front door because a lunatic lives next door. We totally should have known something wasn't right when that tacky welcome mat went out. So yep, in the last photo, I am demonstrating just how freaking giant our pet square is, which begs the question: what the hell could this super-important craft project possibly have been? Obviously the spray-painting of something, but WHAT? And who just wanders out into the hall with their giant mystery object, revs up that can, and lets loose? WHO? I swear, this town (and by town I mean world) is mostly full of lunatics. I suppose the moral of my little story is this: when you meet someone who seems to be a non-lunatic, hang on for dear life... lest you end up in a nutso situation with someone like my very special neighbor.

One last scary thing: Joey has gotten really in to "Californication". I worry about my sweet Joey. We just finished re-watching all of "Arrested Development" (the best show to ever grace the screen), and he feels this disgusting "David Duchovny (Who Actually IS a Sex Addict In Real Life) Has Sex With Many Nubile Young Actresses With No Semblance Of a Plot Except For All the Aforementioned Sex" show is a reasonable substitute? I'm no prude. But I just can not take seriously little snippets like this: "I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister". Sooooo not clever. I'm actually embarrassed for everyone involved in the writing it's so not clever. And this stupid show is filled with similar bon mots. Many are even worse. Prayer circle for Joey! Let him see that Duchovny is creepy, and that sex jokes are only funny when used sparingly and uh, cleverly. 

EDIT!!!!
So I definitely found out the story behind "psycho-neighbor-craft-project-gate"! As I pretty much guessed, this was the idiotic fallout from two female (I knew they'd be women...sorry) roommates with a super duper bright idea. And because this building is run by softies (AHEM Joey and Dad), the idiots only received a $100 fine.

Here's how I imagine their conversation went:
Tiffany: "Hey Stephanie! Let's paint that giant picture frame WHITE!!"
Stephanie: "OH MY GOD! A white frame is exactly what our classy new portrait of Ryan Seacrest needs!"
Tiffany: "But Steph, how will we ever successfully complete such an enormous task? Neither of us can operate a paintbrush, and only the very brightest of whites could ever match the blinding beauty of Ryan's teeth!"
Stephanie: "Don't worry! I've been huffing this (holds up spray paint can) beautiful white spray paint all afternoon, so we've got plenty! And (insert mirthless laugh here) we definitely both know how to operate a spray can!"
Tiffany: "Yay!!! To the hallway we go! Oh, Stephanie, what would I do without you?" 
Stephanie: "Don't forget to bring a couple paper bags and some Virginia Slims! Those brain cells won't kill themselves!"


So it looks like Tiff and Steph managed to make their Seacrest shrine complete and only had to cough up a pretty measly fine. Any ideas on how to further punish my neighbors, vigilante style?

Last but not least, thanks to (the mind-blowingly perfect) Annika, I gotz myself a super awesome feature in Sofis Mode. From what I've learned, this is a weekly magazine that comes with "Aftonbladet", a Swedish daily newspaper (correct me if I'm wrong, lovely Annika). Oh, and if it sounds like I've got a bit of a crush on Annika, then that would probably be because I do. Just go to her English blog, you'll see.
The headline translates to "My Little Brothers are my Inspiration". Or something similar. Goodnight, all!

Philadelphia #2

Lacy Shorts, Fringed Vintage Shirt- LF, Black Clogs- Jeffrey Campbell

So I am officially back from the Great Northeast, but thought this little group of photos might be of interest. The quaint half-empty house in which Joey took these was absolutely full of treasures. Details tomorrow- I've been sick ever since the plane ride home (going on three days?!) and am desperately hoping that I shall rise from bed in the morning, nauseous no more, sense of humor still intact.

Until then, one pressing question: how the hell do we live without LF in Dallas? HOW?? 

EDIT: Looks like tomorrow is now, and I do have a bit more to share. Because I still don't feel like stringing sentences together (I'm not sick anymore, but suffer from this unbelievable laziness I can't seem to shake), we're gonna do this outline-style. 

A) As Jana from (theflamazing) Wolf&Willow astutely observed, the dinos on the above shirt are amazing. I think this top would be my favorite buy from the Big Apple. Besides the diaper shorts. Which also come in black and omg I can't think too much about all the beauty I left behind or my head begins the exploding process.

B) Michael Weiner('s wiener). Discuss. I happen to feel that my elected officials can be as pervy as they want on their own time. And this feeling is completely non-partisan: Larry Craig and his "wide stance" were hilarious, but not in any way related to ol' Craig's job as a smarmy Repub. So leave my Weiner alone! 
(see what I did there?)


C) I gotz me them Jeffrey Campbell Chloe Doc knockoffs. Just a bit of gloating.

D) Brother Ethan graduated!! So any Colorado State readers ready to embrace a super adorable freshman with a penchant for rock climbing and building things out of concrete and skateboarding and dressing like an idiot savant, my little bro will be up there in the fall! No swooning girlfriend attached!


E) While I was typing this out, something deeply terrifying came on TV. Bill Kurtis needs to regulate the corpse photos on "American Justice". I want my true crime stories vague and watered-down, Bill!  

F) I have been complete shit at commenting and checking other blogs recently. Sorry! As I said above, I've been struck with a bad case of laziness laced with a wee bit of residual nausea. I seriously can't wait till my blogging-vigor returns because I know there are some beautiful things awaiting me on all your (highly superior, much less erratic) blogs!


G) Last but not least, while up in Philly I met the most adorable person ever. Her name is Allie and she has a freaking beautiful baby and she looks just like Pocahontas. Well, the Disney version of Pocahontas. Helloooo beautiful Allie!

Ok that's all I've got. Although there are a few pretty exciting things happening in my life that I can't talk about yet. Not blogging-related things, just holy crap I must really be a grown-up now type-things.

Philadelphia #1

Dress- Vintage, Earrings- Free People, mostly the usual jewelry

Sorry about the photo quantity, but Joey and I are so starved for natural beauty that he's all "Look at that rock!" and I'm all "Holy crap it's covered in MOSS!". I bought this dress (nightgown-esque, sailor detailing = perfect) today at an unbelievable vintage store in Frenchtown (Pa) called Upcycle Vintage. I left this amazingly perfectly tackily studded jacket behind, and might have to go back for it cause buying a jacket in June makes perfect sense. OH! And mos def brought home a bagful of amazingness from Modern Love Vintage- the prices where so unbelievably low that I felt kinda guilty. 

I am so so tired and shall now retire to our super cozy room at the Phillips's compound, then pass out while reading my Nazi book. Historical, not how-to. Erik Larson (the guy who wrote "Devil In the White City"), has me enthralled by his latest- "In the Garden of Beasts". Highly recommend. Sometimes I kinda hate myself when I go off on these little movie/book review tangents. Remind me never to use the word "enthralled" again. 

One last thing- this dress sorta evokes "Picnic At Hanging Rock" (uhhh, well maybe an undergarment from that era), so I kept trying to look like Miranda when Joey was taking these. I definitely might have been more successful in my Miranda- replication if I'd lost the jumble of bracelets.